Conversations on Mental Health, Human Connection & Healing
I See My Sister
Hello friends,
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and this week I want to introduce you to someone.
(If this topic is one you're personally navigating right now, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7/365 by call, text or chat — free and confidential.)
This is my sister, Soutomi, with my son when he was little.
When I look at this picture now, I don't immediately think about mental illness or suicide.
I see my sister.
I see my little boy.
I see an aunt with her nephew, and a moment in our family's life when none of us knew what was coming.
Maybe that's one of the hardest things about losing someone to suicide. Afterward, you know so much more. You replay conversations differently. You wonder about things you noticed, things you didn't notice, things you understood — and everything you simply didn't know enough to understand yet.
I lost Soutomi to suicide in December 2022.
I've learned so much since then. Through grief. Through supporting my own children through their mental health struggles. Through owning a mental health clinic. Through writing Hope Starts at Home. Through listening to clinicians, and through countless conversations with families and people carrying their own stories of struggle and loss.
And my goodness, there is still so much I don't know.
One thing I keep coming back to is how little most of us are actually taught about suicide.
We tell people to look for the signs. But have we taught them what those signs might look like?
We tell people to reach out. Have we taught them how to begin that conversation?
We tell people to listen. But listening to someone you love talk about not wanting to live can be terrifying. How do you stay in that conversation without panicking, judging, or immediately trying to fix everything?
I didn't know enough then. I know more now. And I suspect I'll spend the rest of my life learning.
As a mother, I want my children to grow up knowing more than I did. As a mental health advocate, I want families to have access to this knowledge long before they find themselves in crisis. And as Soutomi's sister, I want people to remember something else.
She was so much more than the way she died.
She was a daughter. A sister. An aunt. A friend. A whole human being with a life and a story.
That's what I see when I look at this photograph.
I see Soutomi.
Yesterday reminded me why I dance
This week brought another deeply emotional moment.
I presented Dance for Mental Health™, and I'll admit something: I had started questioning the idea. Is this really something people will connect with? Does combining movement, music, storytelling and mental health actually make sense outside my own head?
Yesterday answered that question for me.
I shared some of my story and the darkness I've walked through. I spoke about my Buddhist practice of chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and what it has taught me about continuing to rise. And then I danced to Andra Day's Rise Up.
It wasn't about choreography or performance. I asked everyone in the room to participate in one very simple way: whenever they heard the words "rise up," place both hands over their heart and sway with me.
And they did.
People cried. People hummed. They moved with me. Afterward, they came up to talk, to hug me, to tell me what they'd felt. I was overwhelmed by the reciprocation in that room.
It reminded me why I created Dance for Mental Health™ in the first place. Sometimes we don't have the words for what we're carrying. But our bodies carry it anyway. Movement can give those emotions somewhere to go.
I came home with a renewed conviction about this idea — and perhaps a slightly crazy new one. 😊
I'm thinking about organizing a free Dance for Mental Health™ gathering at Forest Park. No tickets. No performance. No dance experience necessary.
Come as you are. Bring a friend. Move with me.
I'm still thinking this through, but if that sounds like something you'd come to, hit reply and tell me. I'd love to know.
A few Path To Hope™ updates
Our first Path To Hope™ Community Learning Series program at Ellie Mental Health – Concord is taking shape. We're building the curriculum for our first workshop supporting parents of children with ADHD, and I cannot wait until we can finally open registration. This is exactly the kind of practical education and community I wished I'd had when our own family was trying to understand mental health.
And... the Path To Hope™ Podcast guest invitation campaign has officially launched! 🎙️
We're beginning outreach to potential guests, and I'm also inviting a few friends to join me for some of my first recordings. Why friends? Because I need to get comfortable doing this! 😂 I have a feeling those first conversations will teach me a lot about the kind of host I want to become.
Path To Hope™ Learning Corner
This month, I'm asking you for 30 minutes.
One of the things I wish I had understood better before losing Soutomi was how to recognize and respond to suicide risk.
So for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, instead of simply asking you to "raise awareness," I'm asking you to learn something.
The Zero Suicide Alliance offers a free online Suicide Awareness Training for people age 16 and older. They recommend setting aside at least 30 minutes. It covers suicide risk factors and warning signs, provides coached examples of how to approach someone you're worried about, and explains where people can find additional support.
Take the free Zero Suicide Alliance Suicide Awareness Training
Taking a 30-minute course doesn't mean we can prevent every suicide. We cannot carry that promise, and I never want a family who has lost someone to carry the belief that if they had only known or done one more thing, their loved one would still be here.
Suicide is complex.
But we can learn more. We can become more comfortable asking difficult questions. We can learn to recognize when someone may be struggling. We can become better listeners. And we can learn where to help someone find support.
So this week, I'm asking you to give me — and Soutomi — 30 minutes.
Take the training. And maybe send it to one other person you love.
That would mean more to me than I can adequately put into words.
If you or someone you know needs support, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available in the United States 24/7/365 by call, text or chat. It is free and confidential.
Until our next conversation,
Saroni
Author • Speaker • Mental Health Advocate
P.S. If this week's Learning Corner made you think of another parenting or mental health question you'd like me to explore, reply to this email. Some of those questions may even become conversations on the Path To Hope™ Podcast. 💛
Founder, Path To Hope™
Owner, Ellie Mental Health Concord, MO
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