Conversations on Mental Health, Human Connection & Healing

Learning to Let Them Go

Hello friends,

Well, we're back from Charlotte, and once again I find myself wondering how these children grow up so fast.

We moved our son into his first apartment with roommates this week. What made me smile was remembering that he'd actually found the place all on his own, back in February — a friend from the gym mentioned they needed a fourth roommate, he said yes, and just like that, another piece of his adult life quietly fell into place.

We got to meet his roommates while we were there. Good kids. That certainly made this mom feel better about driving away. 😊

Then came his first grocery shopping trip on his own.

Now, grocery shopping for him these days isn't exactly tossing a frozen pizza and some chips into the cart. His first bodybuilding competition is coming up on October 17th, so every meal is intentional, measured, planned. Watching him walk through the store organizing it all himself was another quiet reminder: this young man is building a life that increasingly doesn't need Mom and Dad to run it for him.

That's exactly what we want as parents, right?

And yet... ouch.

This summer also gave us a closer look at what preparing for a competition like this really demands. There were moments of frustration and irritability we didn't always understand at first. Eventually, our son acknowledged that some of it was the intensity of the prep talking — the strict diet, the hunger, the routine, the social isolation. It takes a toll. He even told us he was almost relieved to be spending these final two months back at school on his own, because the last stretch of prep will be the hardest part.

What struck me wasn't that he had struggled.

It was that he could recognize it.

Sometimes his self-awareness arrives a little later than we'd like — don't we all have that problem? — but at 20, he understands himself in ways I certainly didn't at his age. I think some of that comes from everything he's already lived through. When you've experienced depression and worked hard to come out of that darkness, you learn that paying attention to yourself matters. You learn to notice when something feels different. You learn what helps you stay well. You learn that taking care of your mental health isn't something you do once and check off a list.

Maybe that's one of the unexpected gifts our hardest experiences leave us with: knowing ourselves better.

So we hugged him goodbye, left him to his roommates, his groceries, his workouts, his classes, and this next adventure — and drove away.

Not straight home, though. 😄

My husband, our daughter and I decided to steal a day by the ocean. It was quite a drive, but absolutely worth it. We ate, sat by the water, laughed, talked, and enjoyed having some time as just the three of us. With her brother stepping into his next chapter, I've been especially mindful of making space for the one she's in — thirteen, and suddenly the only one still home.

Next time, we're staying a few nights. Lesson learned.

Meanwhile, Path To Hope™ keeps growing...

Back home, the Path To Hope™ Podcast continues to come together.

There have been a few technical snags with the website relaunch — because apparently nothing new is ever allowed to go completely according to plan — but everything else is moving forward. The website is getting closer. The podcast pieces are falling into place. And we're almost ready to launch the campaign to start inviting guests.

That's the part I'm most excited about.

I've spent this past year sharing my own story. Now I want to sit across from other people and hear theirs — parents, clinicians, researchers, educators, leaders, people with lived experience, people who challenge how we think, people who've walked through something hard and have something real to teach the rest of us.

I want these to be honest conversations about the things we don't always know how to talk about: mental health, family, grief, identity, relationships, resilience, healing, and what it actually means to connect with another human being.

I cannot wait to start.

And if you're reading this thinking, Saroni, I have something we need to talk about — tell me. Seriously. Reply to this email. Tell me the conversation you think we're not having enough of. Tell me about someone whose voice needs to be heard. Or if you believe you have a story that belongs on Path To Hope™, tell me that too.

This community is becoming part of what the podcast will be, and I want you in the conversation from the beginning.

---

For now, I'm going to enjoy having everyone safely where they're supposed to be, appreciate that my son's refrigerator is apparently stocked with perfectly measured food, and remind myself that raising children was never about keeping them close forever.

It was about helping them become people capable of walking their own path.

Even when watching them do it is a little bittersweet.

Until our next conversation,

Saroni
Author • Speaker • Mental Health Advocate

Founder, Path To Hope™
Owner, Ellie Mental Health Concord, MO

​Previous Newsletters​